Disclaimer: I have been complicit in the White Trainer Trend. I have created editorial on white trainers, I have promoted white trainers in merchandising and sales strategies, I have referenced and eulogised street-style containing white trainers. I have supported the all-white Nike Air Thea, the all-white Adidas Stan Smiths and the all-white Converse.

But now that I can freely talk about the concept – WHAT THE FOCK?

Yes, if you are a Californian surf-chick blessed with perennial sunny weather, white trainers make sense.  But over this side of the pond? No, no, NO. The rain! The dirty streets! The puddles! The mud! Every fibre of my being screams Irish Mammy when I think about them –

“HOW are you going to keep them clean?”
“Don’t you dare spill anything on your good shoes”
“You’re not wearing THOSE are you?”

And the thing is, white trainers can’t be box fresh. They can’t be gleaming white. Oh no, they have to have a little tarnish, a “lived-in” feel. Do you remember having to “christen” your trainers when you were a child?


Bolting around the estate as the older kids threatened to stomp on your brand new shoes? It’s exactly the same – how do you dirty, but not too much – a pair of white trainers? And then, how do you preserve them in that EXACT same state for the lifecycle of their existence? Do you tiptoe around the streets, with a bottle of Vanish in your pocket? Do you lovingly care to them every night, wiping off the smut from the day with a damp cloth? Cleanse, tone, moisturise, then clean your whites?

And that’s just white trainers on the street, day-to-day. What about white trainers…AT FESTIVALS? What about the PEOPLE who wear white trainers AT FESTIVALS? The look just screams “high maintenance”, like you’re here for the aesthetics and not to roll around in the mud like the rest of us festival hags.  You’re the type of person that always has toilet roll, never gets lost and looks fresh as a daisy morning, noon and night. You scare me.

Ultimately I guess I’m just not built for white trainers. I’m not clean enough, diligent enough or precious enough to commit to something that looks great but requires 24/7 maintenance.

Images: Just The Design // Pinterest 

No more articles