With Christmas party season in full swing, we wanted to investigate some of the worst Christmas party stories we’ve ever heard. We enlisted the help of some very open and very honest Opsh readers to divulge the dirty deets on their party escapades and it’s led to a particularly interesting article. Prepare to sympathy cringe with them.
How any of these people went to work on the Monday is beyond us…
Last year, I had been working in my new job for around two weeks before it was office Christmas party time. I was a bit nervous as I didn’t know my colleagues too well so didn’t want to make a show of myself. We were out for dinner and drinks and I decided it was best to just pace myself so I was taking it very handy. Everyone else started to get pretty smashed but I was having a good time being sober-ish, just hanging out with my colleagues. The head of HR came up to me at about 11pm (same guy who interviewed me) and told me that the only reason he hired me was because of sizable breasts (my words, not his. His were “huge melons”) and that I was far less qualified than the woman he interviewed before me.
Pretty shitty start to my new job and I still have to sit in an office with him to this day. Ugh.
About two years ago, I was at our office party (note – small office of 25) and I was absolutely hammered drunk. We had been drinking all day in the office so needless to say, we were all pretty on it by the time we arrived to the designated restaurant – where we were ploughed with even more drinks. I ended up sitting next to the boss (accidentally on purpose) who I’d had a crush on for years. He had recently gotten married but for some reason, I decided to drunkenly tell him I fancied the pants off him, wished he hadn’t gotten married and may have called his wife a two-faced bitch.
What the f*ck is wrong with me?
Our office parties are always on the wilder side of things. We are a super young office so everyone definitely takes having fun to the next level, myself included. The party was in the office so we all cleared away our desks at 2pm and started boozing. Needless to say it was a very messy night and I ended up hooking up with one of my colleagues – who I had never even knew I fancied but low and behold we were smooching on my desk until the wee hours. We ended up going up the boss’es office and you know…
We both fell asleep nearly immediately after and woke up the next day at 7am with no way out (oh and it was a feckin’ Thursday so everyone was due to arrive by 9am!). I absolutely freaked out and hid in the bathroom until 9:30am when the first hungover head walked through the door. I literally sprinted out of the office, went home and called in sick. David (not his real name) stayed the whole day in the clothes he was wearing the night before and was bombarded with questions all day.
Monday was (as you can imagine) the worst day of my entire life and I will never live it down.
I usually always give the office party a miss – or just stay for one or two drinks as they’re just not really my thing. But last year at our party, I spotted this absolute feckin’ hottie that I’d never seen before, which wasn’t that weird as there’s around 300 people in our office. Anyway, I made it my business to talk to him and we ended up smooching for hours (in full sight of everyone!). On Monday, one of the women I work with came up and told me that he was the new intern and he was only 20. TWENTY!!!
I’ve never felt so weird about smooching someone before. I spotted him around the office the following week and noticed he totally has a baby face. How did I not spot this before?
I had been working in an office for two years as a personal assistant to the CEO and around six months in, I noticed that the MD and the CEO (both married) were having an affair. They were pretty subtle about it but on a number of occasions, I had seen them leaving late together, coming out of his office brushing their hands off each other etc. I had also answered calls from hotels stating he had left his iPad, briefcase, jacket there etc when I knew she was staying in the same hotel that night. On one occasion at a conference in London, I saw her leaving his hotel room as I was getting up for an early breakfast.
Anyway, at the Christmas party a few years ago, I was so drunk that I decided it would be a good idea to tell anyone who would listen that I had found out about the affair from the moment I worked there and how disgusting and inappropriate it was – including details of the conference in London. Needless to say, the gossip spread like wildfire and on the Monday morning, I got called into the CEO’s office while the MD was sitting there asking me why I thought it was a good idea to spread vicious rumours about people. I was let go that week.
Worst Christmas ever.