I like to sigh. I don’t think I started (excessively) sighing until I set up my own business. And for a long time, I didn’t notice I was sighing. But sometimes, in a tense meeting, or when trying to put a complex financial forecast together, I would notice a loud, exhalation of breath and realise it was me. The sighing was to relieve tension, to book-end a difficult point, to afford an extra few minutes to think…but ultimately it was a subconscious and deeply meditative action. Albeit an action that distressed other people. Think about someone sighing in your office – it can only signify bad news. There’s an annoying client on the phone or the milk has run out or your computer is STILL doing updates or a budget got reduced. And being a fairly conscientious person, I tried to minimise my sighing so as not to unsettle those around me.
But now that I’m pregnant? I can sigh with abandon. Wanton abandon. As long as I rub my belly and furrow my brow, I can sigh as loudly, as forcibly and for as long as I like. I can sigh to indicate good news, bad news or that I have indigestion. I can sigh because my back hurts. I can sigh because baby did not appreciate the slice of spicy pepperoni. I can sigh because The Apprentice didn’t record properly. I can sigh because the Marks and Spencer Dine in For 2 is available. I can sign for pleasure or for pain or for mild irritation or for absolutely no reason at all. I can sigh and sigh and sigh because I’m pregnant and nobody can stop me.